how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
