So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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