Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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