Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
