I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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