I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
