i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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