But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
