yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
