STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize