I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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