I think I won the penis lottery.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
