I love black thongs
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
