I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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