I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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