By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize