i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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