She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
