if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I love you.
Bad choice
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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