I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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