It was confusing and full of hummus
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize