I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
