im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
