I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
