How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the day after is always just damage control
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
