Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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