Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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