Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
