I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
