It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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