Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
