I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
false alarm, still single
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
