well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
