my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
