So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
