just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
