Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
