Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
