Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
