And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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