Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
