Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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