): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
