Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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