ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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