awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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