What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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