Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You are a genius and a whore.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
