I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize