It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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