I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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