Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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