Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
