I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ok first of all what the fuck
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
