shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
