You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
