I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
