I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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