Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
