Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
