$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize