just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
