East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
