i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
