Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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