I wanna passion pit in your ass
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
