"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
