What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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